Never Enough
by crazednthu
Summary: Harry wants him but he's not enough. Harry has her but she's not enough. Nothing is ever enough.


I thought I'd try something new.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. But I wished I owned Rupert Grint. Is it me, or is he sex on legs?

Harry paced his room and looked at his watch. He was running out of time. He had to get back to her soon. If he didn't hurry, he wasn't going to have enough time. There was a knock on the door. He rushed over to it. The person kept knocking. "Harry, it's me Ron."

Harry frowned and opened the door. Ron rushed in and Harry closed the door behind him. They stared at each other. Ron was breathing hard. His cheeks were flushed with color. He was so tall and so lean. His hair was full and a brilliant shade of red. His hair was so much lighter than her's was. "What kept you?"

Ron shrugged, "I came as fast as I could. I'm sorry." Harry didn't need a detailed explanation. He walked over to Ron and pushed him against the night table. Ron sat on it so they were at eye level. Harry leaned in and kissed him. His lips were so full and soft. He tasted so sweet and so unlike her. She was cinnamon; he was peaches. Ron moaned sucking on his tongue and pulling Harry close. Harry tangled his fingers in Ron's hair and Ron pulled off Harry's shirt.

Harry broke away and ran his fingers through Ron's hair. It fell gracefully into his eyes. His eyes. Harry could always see everything through Ron's eyes. The entire world hid inside Ron's eyes. They were the most crystal blue he had ever seen. They weren't a big, beautiful almond color. Ron's eyes were so easy to read. Harry could tell how much he hurt and how much he hated himself. It was Harry's fault Ron's eyes looked so sad and swollen from tears all the time. He couldn't look anymore. He had to make the pain go away.

Harry pulled Ron's shirt off and began to kiss his neck. It was soft. His skin was ghost white and freckles splashed everywhere. He had more freckles than she did. Harry dragged his tongue from Ron's collar bone to his belly button. Ron moaned placing a hand in Harry's hair. Harry yanked at Ron's jeans. Ron sat up for a second so Harry could take them off. Harry could easy see Ron's hardness. His mouth watered as he took Ron's cock into his hand. Ron moaned leaning against the wall. Harry watched Ron as he stroked him. Ron was breathing heavily. He was chewing on his lower lip. Ron was so quiet and patient. He was so unlike her.

Harry licked the tip slowly. Ron's grip in his hair tightened. "Tell me you want it," Harry demanded.

"I want it. Please just do it," Ron panted.

Harry smirked and took as much of Ron as he could inside is mouth. Ron gave a choked cry and pulled on Harry's hair. Harry pumped Ron in and out of his mouth. He watched as Ron's eyes rolled into the back of his head. "Gods Harry," he moaned.

Harry felt his own cock harden. That drove him crazy every time. It didn't take Ron long. It never did. Ron moaned loudly and came into his mouth. Harry absorbed every drop of him that he could. It was a bitter taste. Ron was bitter. His taste was so different from her.

Harry pulled away and stood up. He didn't give Ron time to recover. He needed to hurry. He grabbed his arm and motioned him to the bed. Ron obliged and got into the bed. He kicked off his shoes and took off his boxers. Harry marveled his body. He looked nothing like her. She was small and beautiful. Ron was strong and sexy.

Harry hated comparing them. Every time he was with Ron he compared him to her and every time he was with her he thought about him. He hated it. Harry ignored the disgusting feeling he felt for himself. He knew he was a monster and didn't need to remind himself of it every second. Harry tore off his own clothes. He climbed into bed and lay on top of Ron. Ron leaned up and kissed him deeply.

Harry kissed him back running his fingers all over Ron chest. Ron took his own hands and touch Harry's cock. It made him whimper. Harry broke away. He lowered himself and spread Ron's legs apart. Ron's breathing hitched. "What's wrong?" Harry asked.

Ron traced his lips with a finger. Harry took that finger into his mouth and sucked. "Can you take it slow this time? You always rush."

Harry dropped Ron's finger. He couldn't ask him that. He only went slowly with her. "You know I can't. I don't have a lot of time. I thought you understood."

Ron blushed, "I do. I just thought I'd ask." Harry detected the hurt in his voice. Of course he wanted to go slow sometimes. He wanted to truly feel Ron, but he couldn't. That wasn't allowed and it wasn't part of his deal.

"Ron, I'm sorry," was all Harry could muster. Ron shrugged and looked away. "You still want to do this?"

"Of course I do," Ron said defeated.

Harry bit his lip. He hated himself for doing this to him, but he had no choice. He placed his lips against Ron's neck and entered him. Ron gasped holding on to Harry's back. Harry himself winced. It felt so different than being inside her. He was so tight and hot. She was nothing like that. Harry pumped hard and fast. He kissed Ron all over and Ron dug into his back.

"Wait, be careful. Don't leave marks," Harry pleaded.

"Sorry, I forgot," Ron said panting. "You just feel so good."

Harry smiled and looked at him. Ron was flushed again. His eyes were full of pleasure. It was one of the only times Ron ever looked happy. "You feel good too. You feel so damn good." Harry kissed Ron digging his tongue as deep into his throat as he could. Ron moaned arching his neck.

Harry pumped in and out of Ron. His movements were short and quick. He left Ron's mouth as he felt himself close. "Ron, you feel so fucking good," he moaned.

Ron licked his neck, "It's all for you Harry. It will always be all for you."

Harry gazed at him. He looked into his eyes and could tell his words were sincere. "You better be," Harry said honestly. He dug deeper into Ron. Ron whimpered in pain and pleasure. Harry too couldn't take it. He felt hot bliss reach his cock. With a final thrust Harry came into Ron hard. He cried out and filled Ron with everything he could. Ron gasped and cried out as well.

Harry slowed his movements. He lay on top of Ron and enjoyed the little time he could. Ron's body was covered in sweat. Harry traced freckles on his stomach. Ron chuckled, "That tickles," he said.

Harry grinned, "Sorry." He kissed Ron and glanced at the time. It was almost nine. "Fuck, we ran out of time. I have to go." With that Harry got up and began to put his close back on. He noticed Ron stayed in the bed. "Ron, come on. She'll be here in a bit and I have to shower."

Ron rolled his eyes, "And rinse me away?"

Harry gave him a look. "Don't do this. You knew we didn't have a lot of time."

Ron got up and put his boxers and jeans back on. "Yeah, but I didn't know you were going to be such a rush to get rid of me. I can't do this anymore. I quit."

Harry's jaw dropped. "You quit what."

Ron frowned, "This. I quit what we're doing."

"Why?" Harry asked a bit hurt.

Ron's eyes grew, "Well, I don't know about you but I don't appreciate being fucked and then two seconds later being thrown out. You treat me like some fucking whore."

"Ron you know that's not what I think," Harry began.

"Then what do you think, huh? Tell me how you feel," Ron demanded.

Harry shook his head. "Please not again. You know the situation Ron."

"Actually I don't know. Every time I try to understand it I get confused. What is this?" Ron yelled.

Harry did not have time for Ron. He hated this part. It always seemed to happen. "You know what this is. It's been this way for months now. How come you only seem to have a problem afterward? You didn't seem to care a while ago. Why didn't you ask while I was sucking you off huh?"

Ron blushed, "You know I care. I always do. I feel terrible all the time. I can't do this. Every time I think I can I can't. I can't keep lying to her. I love her."

Harry didn't want to understand him but he could. He hated lying as well. "I love her too okay? Ron we have to. It's the only way this can work."

Ron got closer to him. "No, it's not. We can tell the truth. Tell her how you feel."

"I can't and I won't do that Ron. You know it would never work," Harry said.

"Harry, please, I hate myself. I hate myself so much. I hate myself because I keep lying to her and I hate myself because you don't want me," Ron cried.

Harry hated when Ron cried. He did it all the time but every time it felt like Harry couldn't breathe. "Ron, don't please. I do want you. I want you all the time."

Ron shook his head. "No, not just in bed. You don't want to be with me. I'm not enough for you. You're fearless, you wouldn't care what people said. It's me who's the problem."

Harry couldn't take his words. He didn't want them to be right but they were. "Ron, that's not true."

Ron moved right in front of his face. His blue eyes were once again swollen with tears. "Then tell me the truth. Tell me you love me. I love you Harry. You're my whole world and it's killing me that I can't be with you. If you feel the same, say it. Tell me you love me."

Harry opened his mouth but no words came out. "Ron…I'm sorry."

Ron snorted as more tears rolled down his cheeks. He picked up his shirt and put it on. "You always are. That's why I can't do this anymore. I can't keep lying and taking this from you. I can't do it. It's not enough for me." He put his shoes back and searched for his cloak.

Harry watched him. This couldn't be the end. He needed Ron. He needed Ron badly. He had to say something. He had to say something before Ron walked out of his life forever. "Ron," Harry breathed.

Ron looked at him. His face was blank but he had stopped crying. For the first time Harry couldn't read his eyes. "What is it Harry?"

Harry searched for the right words. "It's you. It's always been you. It will always be you. I promise you that."

Ron shook his head, "It's not enough. I need more." He walked over to Harry and softly kissed him. Harry melted into his kissed. He had a feeling it would be his last with him.

Ron pulled away and wiped a tear that had escaped Harry's eye. "I love you." Ron's words were so quiet and so full of emotion. Harry had never seen Ron this way. Everything about him seemed heightened. He was beautiful. Just like her.

"I…I love you too. It's just not enough," Harry confessed.

Ron nodded sadly. He knew they could never be together. "I know." He walked to the door and opened it. He gave Harry one final look. Harry knew it was over. They would never be the same again. "I'll always be there, if you want me." He closed the door behind him.

Harry sank to his knees. He felt his whole world caving in. He wanted Ron but he would never be enough for him. He needed more. He could not have a future with him, not like he could with her. He thought it would be okay. He thought he could have both. He knew now it was never an option. He loved Ron. Harry knew he did. He would never really feel whole without him.

He heard a knocking on the door. Harry's heart raced. He thought it was Ron again but glancing at the time he knew who it was. He wiped his eyes and smiled. She always made him feel better.

He opened the door and beamed at her. She was so beautiful. "I was wondering when you'd get here."

Ginny smiled and walked in. Harry closed the door behind her. She kissed him deeply. She tasted so unlike Ron. Harry was confused. It was hard being with Ginny when he wanted her brother. It was just as hard having Ron when he thought about his sister. Harry was twisted. He knew what he did was wrong, but he couldn't stop. He loved Ginny. Ron wasn't enough.

"I saw Ron on the way here. He looked upset. Do you know what's wrong with him?" Ginny asked. Harry shrugged trying not to think about him.

Later that night, after they had finished making love, Harry sat up gazing at Ginny; she was so dissimilar to Ron. She was happy. She was fun and gorgeous. Harry traced freckles on her cheeks. Her skin wasn't as soft as Ron's. She wasn't as sexy as him.

It was his last year at school. He didn't know what he was going to do afterward but he knew his life was with Ginny. She could give him the life he wanted. However, as Ginny opened her eyes and smiled, Harry realized. Her eyes were giant and chocolate. They were amazing but didn't impact him like Ron's. Harry couldn't read her eyes. She didn't make him feel the world like Ron did every time he looked into his eyes. Harry realized looking at Ginny that she was not enough.

Nothing would ever be enough.

Yeah, this was new for me. Thanks for reading. Review!

CRAZED


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